The India Chronicles (Day 124)

Well, no matter how you slice it, dice it, chop it, cut it or spin it, I have now been here 4 months. Calls for a celebration, don't ya think? Yup, couldn't agree more. I leave work for Oz-land tomorrow no later than 11:30 AM. Can't wait! Everything's in order (including my dog looking all sad again! He saw the evil suitcase being packed again....)

As such I figured that since my "adoring" public was so enamored with these things that I should get one more out. I am not sure Fat Jimmy could survive a whole 3 weeks with no India Chronicles to get him through the week. I mean really, Jimbo, that's quite pathetic! You buy that C50 / Campy Record bike yet? Woos!

And if you are not sure if that jab was aimed at you, then it wasn't.

Mary (a.k.a. Baby. I wonder if she knows she now has an alias)?) will watch him and as long as I am not here, he plays with her and listens to her quite well she says. Of course I could be misinterpreting the Indian head-bob, but Jobe agrees, so that's good.

Jobe ironed all the shirts that Mary had been neglecting. I have NEVER had all of my shirts ironed at the same time. I have been ironing the shirts / pants each morning. Don't really mind; at some point I AM gonna have to go back to doing it myself.

Last Saturday (the 14th) at 4:30 AM the Indian government executed a convicted killer. This guy raped and murdered a 14 year old girl and 14 years after receiving the death sentence they finally executed him.

(Anyone else notice the number 14 theme there?)

The usual protests, appeals, last minute pleas, etc. Understand that this was nationwide. In the US, we seem to have gotten used to Texas executing someone about every other week or so, and the only people usually making a demonstration on it are in the state it's occurring in. Not here. It was news for weeks leading up to it.

You're thinking, big deal! The US executes people all the time. That's true, BUT the Indian's don't have electric chairs, gas chambers or simple little hypodermic needles. Nope! They do it the old fashioned way...by HANGING!

THAT would cause a stir in the US! Break out the 'ole cruel and unusual punishment argument...

The executioner said to the condemned as he was placing the noose / hood over the guys head "Please forgive me, for I am only doing what the government is making me do". Fortunately for the executioner, the condemned forgave him. The executioner then announced his retirement....

The prisoner swung for 30 minutes so the physician could pronounce "death by hanging".

So there you have it, capital punishment....Indian Style. For the record, the execution occurred in Delhi.

And if your wondering, it can be Delhi or Old Delhi, or even New Delhi. They are all the same. I asked once how can Old Delhi be New Delhi? They explained it but I became even more confused, so I just let it go.

Last Tuesday (a week ago!) we're driving to work. No big deal, I am napping in the back of the car probably because my Eye tore up again. That's not important. What I do notice is we're slowing down. Manu looks weird. I ask him what's wrong and he says the car is not working. Can't say I have ever heard of a car not working. I have heard of it being broken, but never referred to as "not working". He pulls off to the side of the road, which means to say that half the car is off the road and half the car is on the road. And this road is 1.5 lanes wide anyway. And there are buses screaming by, almost hitting us from both directions! The car was acting like the map sensor or fuel injection computer were either dead or dying. I have had that happen to me three times in my old Ford so I know it well. Was thinking "Yes! New car!! Woohoo!"

At this time, Manu shows me that one of my Employees went driving by on her scooter. Didn't stop to see how I was. Didn't offer assistance. Didn't offer a ride..... Argh!!! :-)

Me being the daring type said "I'll walk". He said "No, sir!" I repeated that "it's half a km. I'll walk." "No, Sir! You can take an Auto". I said "I am IN an auto and it's not working". "No, stupid! An Auto rickshaw!"

CRINGE!

He proceeds to walk up to an auto rickshaw driver who is behind his auto with the engine panel open and he's working on it. Seems Manu didn't quite grasp that.

So he goes and finds me another auto, I climb in an somehow I fit. My head wasn't bouncing off the roof too much. The best part is that the little speedometer / odometer was dead, not working. These things crack me up!

So he gets me to work and that's that.

The horrible thing is that the stinkin' machine shop / mechanics fixed or replaced the bad computer parts in like 3 hours!!! Took Ford 3 days and cost me like $800 each time!!! Wonder if Ford will give me price-match refund!???

The next day we are all in the elevator (actually it's just 5 of us) on our way down for morning tea, when suddenly...Boom! The elevator screeches to a halt, the lights go out, the fan turns off and the emergency light goes on. Great! Everything is frickin' breaking! We stand there for like five minutes. Fortunately it is just the five of us. Any more than that and it would have been truly uncomfortable. So just for fun I yell "LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! ARGHHH!!!!!" while banging on the door. We all had a good laugh. About two minutes later, the emergency light turns off, the fan turns and main light turn on, then the door opens on the ground floor. Elevator didn't move an inch. Right where we were headed. Guess all we needed to do was pry the door open! Welcome to India....

I get back from Oz on Sunday the 29th. I then need to go to Singapore for business. My instructions to the travel people (oh how I really, REALLY, miss my travel agent in the US!): Trip from Cochin to Singapore. I must be back in Cochin by 4:00 AM Saturday the 4th (i.e. not in transit). I want to leave on the Monday night flight (getting in on Tuesday morning). If it makes more sense for me to ignore my return from Singapore and for me to just stay in Singapore on Sunday, I'll only require a return ticket for later in the week.

First response - confirmed MI 467 08/30 0015 / MI 468 09/03 2135. That puts me out of Cochin the same "day" I get back. No good. Have me fly out at 0015 on 08/31 (seems I need to be micromanaging this).

Second Response: MI 467 08/31 0015 / MI 468 09/03 2135. Seats W/C. No seats remaining in Economy. Advise if we should ticket it. Um, I don't like being ticketed on a flight I have no seat on. I am not driving one hour to the airport, waiting for 1-2 hours only to find out I have no seat. No thanks. Try Cochin-Bangalore/Chennai-Singapore.

Third Response: Confirmed. 9W to Bangalore, Bangalore to Singapore 8/30/04 - 08/31/04. Return 09/03/04. land in Chennai at 0015 on 9/4, depart Chennai 0630. Uh, I told you I have to be at a phone / computer at 0400 on 9/4. This has me in the air at that time. Either push the departure to 09/04 from Singapore or try another option

Fourth Response: Confirmed. MI 467 08/31 0015 / MI 468 09/03 2135. Seats confirmed. Shall we ticket it? Yes!!!!! (not sure what changed as this is the same as response 2 but now magically I have a seat).

The next day I get called downstairs to get my ticket. You'll love this!

There's a guy sitting on the couch with a charge card imprinter! He gives me my tickets which really are handwritten!!!! No seat assignments, nothing official looking, just a plain handwritten ticket. I really need to scan this and post on the blog. You won't believe it until you see it!! He then fills out a charge receipt and imprints my card, I sign the receipt and then gives me the "tickets" and receipts in your usual travel agent folder thingy. He leaves - I go back for me morning tea.

I ask the travel agent the next day - "do I have an assigned seat?" This flight is going to be packed and the last thing I need is to be stuck in the last row, middle seat for a 4.5 hour red-eye to frickin' Singapore!

"No - let me check". An hour later she calls me and says that I can get my seat assignment at the airport. This trip has disaster written ALL over it! Stay tuned. I am accepting bets on whether or not a) I get stuck in a middle seat, b) whether they will lose my luggage or c) both! Of course, I guess there is still the chance I don't get a seat. THAT would suck!

One last thing. On the way home from work I see these two guys outside this little shed / shop thingy. Usually one guy is staring at some pieces of metal, while his buddy is either pounding on some metal with a hammer or using a welder with the two pieces of metal over a rock. The welder dude may or may not be using welding goggles. Sometimes they are kicking the metal. Perhaps the metal isn't doing what they've been telling it to do. Maybe this is some sort of mystical Indian metal yoga, or something. Don't know. They've been doing this for weeks. Can't say that anything I've seen looked like it was useful, nor could I figure out what it was for. This is a metal working shop, according to the sign outside their shed. I need to get a picture of this somehow because it is quite "interesting".

Ok - I am off now to finalize my plans. The India Chronicles will turn into the Australia Chronicles. Will try to let you know how it goes and how wonderful it was!

Stay safe. I'm going back to civilization! Woohoo!!!