The India Chronicles (Day 178)

Well, it's the night before departure and, as this will probably come as no shock to anyone, I can't wait! This particular week has been hectic due to somewhat silly circumstances regarding HR. This is something pretty humorous!

Saturday, which if you will remember is a work day for me, I get an e-mail late in the afternoon from HR saying I must do a bunch of performance reviews per their new HR system, blah blah blah, and it must be done for the grade 12+ employees.....by the 20th of Oct. Nevermind that I was leaving the 15th and would not be returning until the 4th. The reviews needed to be given to the employees for their self-assessment, returned, I needed to do my assessment, I needed to spend the 30 - 60 minutes each to go over said assessment and then I needed to review each assessment with HR. I hate this HR crap! :-)

I ask what determines "grade-12" and get nothing in response. So I am now fearing some will get the review and some won't, and given the goofy nature of things, people will talk, they'll complain that they weren't included, etc. So my friends in HR are setting my up for a labor relations nightmare! Not to mention that I was participating in an all day team meeting on Monday with my peers regarding our India organization, plans for the future, etc. so time to do this task would be limited.

In this meeting team meeting I asked why we were doing performance evaluations in Sept since the normal cycle is February or so. Here is the gist of this conversation...

Me - why are we doing this now? I have a lot to do between now and when I leave and don't understand why this deviates from the normal timeframe.
HR - It is Asia's HR policy to review Grade-12 employees at this time to develop career development plans, succession plans, determine high-risk-to-the-company-should-they-leave employees and come up with incentive schemes and contingency plans, etc.
Me - Ok, what is Grade-12. Who is in it?
HR - I will send you your list.
Me - So it will most likely not be my whole group?
HR - Right
Me - Ok. What does Grade-12+ represent?
HR - High value / High potential employees.
Me - now I am confused....(now looking at the other expat) - Have you been given a self-assessment?
Expat - No. Have you?
Me - No. (looking at another Indian manager). Have you?
Indian Manager - No.
Me (to HR) - so I'm not high value / high potential. He's not high value / high potential. She's not high value / high potential. (there's a Dilbert cartoon here I can sense it! Managers are of no value, employees are high value assets!). Ok. So I am not high value and neither is anyone else in this room according to this scheme. Fine. What do you propose I tell the "non-high value employees" when they ask me why their peers are doing performance reviews and they are not?
HR - Tell them they are not Grade-12.
Me - Ok. And when they ask me what Grade-12 is?
HR - High Value / High Potential Employees
Me - Lemme see if I understand this. You want me to tell some of my employees that they are not participating because they are not high value / high potential?
HR - Yes
Me - Anyone else see the problem with this?
HR - uh
Me - Why don't I just show them the door now? You are telling me to crush their optimism, company loyalty, work ethic, etc. and tell them that they aren't high value or high potential.
HR - What do you mean?
Me - You think they are gonna stick around if I tell them that "I value your efforts and contributions, but you're not high-value". Yeah right!
HR - uh

as if it couldn't get any better....

I have basically thrown out this entire week to get this all done. I got the list and it was everyone from the start-up of the group (except one), so at least I have a viable defense; I can tell the excluded ones they haven't been with the company long enough. Here's the exchange regarding that one "exception".

Me - I don't feel he should be excluded regardless of whether or not he is Grade-12 or not. He has done some very good work for us. Can I put him through the process anyway?
HR - uh - no.
Me - If I put him through the process he'll never know that he is not part f the group, will he?
HR - right
Me - So I can avoid labor problems by going through the process and doing a formal performance review now instead of later. Agreed?
HR - yes
Me - Will you load it into your HR system?
HR - no
Me - Lemme get this straight. I will give you a completed, up-to-date performance review and you'll ignore it?
HR - It's not part of the process
Me - Can't you load it so we have it on record anyway?
HR - We don't have a process for that
Me - So I will do a full performance review, identify strengths, weaknesses, career development paths, etc. and you're telling me as HR you won't use it?
HR - They aren't Grade-12, if you wish to waste your time......
Me - You won't use it?
HR - I guess not.
Me - Incredible! I'm doing it anyway. You'll get the completed review and it will be part of our HR discussion and I want it loaded for future reference.
HR - um - ok (head-bob)

And it STILL gets better! I send the forms to the concerned employees via blind CC so they don't know who's getting it (but they'll talk and figure it out) and ask that they complete them on Tuesday. I will do my part on Wednesday, we'll review on Thursday and I'll finalize with HR on Friday. They all jump at this and complete their parts as requested. Wednesday is a complete screw-up of a day and I don't get anything expected done; too many silly conf calls. That morning as I am trying to do my part in this process and the HR guy calls me..

HR - "I have interviews at the factory so I cannot meet with you on Friday as scheduled. Can we do it Thursday."
Me - "No - that is they day I am doing all of the perf reviews. 8 of them at .5 - 1.0 hrs each is pretty much the full day. As I leave around 1:00 on Friday it has to be in the morning."
HR - ok. ok. ok. Click.

I get an e-mail again stating his case again and requesting that we reschedule for "anytime convenient for me". I respond that Friday AM is convenient for me. He responds that he has interviews that day and needs it for some other time, again, whenever convenient for me. I responded with 9:00 AM November 5th.......

I got 9:00 AM on Friday the 15th!

Incredible!

I seem to have laundry issues above and beyond the fact that it takes forever for things to dry. I noticed that Mary did a load of wash and I now have 3 "tan" undershirts. They were white, now they're tan. I have no idea how. She said that the water in the washer was rust-colored so she informed the property people to clean the tanks / lines. Great! Now that washing machine is wrecking my clothes! As if things couldn't get any worse, then I pulled out a load of wash she did this afternoon for me to dry (which I was planning on doing this evening anyway). She said she had used bleach to try to clean the tan shirts (which I figured was days ago as the tan shirts were still on the "drying rack"

I now have tie-die boxers! She bleached a load of wash with darks in it! Fortunately my dark dress shirts and slacks were not in that load!

Riley had his vet visit today. The vet came here. Rs240 for the vaccinations and Rs100 for the visit. Basically the whole thing cost $8.00 or so. He said I could call him at any hour and he'd come over to check on my dog. I guess that's good to know.

Anyway, we're all set to go. Need to finish packing and all that crap. This broadcast will return to its somewhat irregular broadcast schedule upon my return.

See you soon!